How To Speak to Your Elderly Loved One About Nursing Home Abuse

Reputable nursing homes treat patients with the dignity and respect they deserve. Unfortunately, not all residential care facilities and skilled nursing facilities employ this ideal standard when caring for residents. Nursing home abuse is a widespread issue for elderly adults in nursing homes, not only in California but across the United States.

As concerned family members, addressing the possibility of nursing home abuse with an elderly loved one can be challenging and even distressing. Victims often feel ashamed, embarrassed or scared to speak up about the abuse. However, as difficult as it can be to open such a conversation, it’s something you must do in order to seek justice for wrongs committed and prevent future abuse.

As you approach this sensitive topic, here are some helpful tips to remember.

Prepare Yourself

Before initiating the conversation, take a moment to gather your thoughts and emotions. Just the thought of your loved one experiencing abuse can be distressing. However, taking a moment to prepare yourself mentally enables you to offer the support your loved one needs.

It’s also good to familiarize yourself with nursing home abuse regulations. There’s no need to pore over the law – instead, get to know patients’ rights in California and the agencies you can approach for help.

Choose the Right Setting

If there is an opportunity to do so, create an environment promoting comfort and privacy. Ideally, you want a quiet space to engage in an open conversation without interruptions.

As you think of where to hold the conversation, consider any physical limitations your loved one might have, and choose a location that accommodates their needs.

Start with Simple and Straightforward Questions

If you are not sure how to begin, here are some questions that may help your elderly loved one open up to you:

• Is there anything wrong?
• Is there anything you need help with at your nursing home?
• Is there anyone at your nursing home you are afraid of?
• I noticed an injury. What happened?
• Have you been threatened with punishment by your caregiver?

Initiating the conversation with straightforward questions might be uncomfortable for both you and your loved one. However, it is crucial that you take the first step. It is possible that your loved one is aware of the abuse and needs help, but is afraid to speak up.

As you do this, express your care and concern for your elderly loved one. Emphasizing your intention to listen to and support them helps build trust and encourages them to open up about their experience.

Never Use Accusatory Language

Victims of abuse often feel that the abuse is their fault and that, on some level, they deserve it. Considering this, it’s best to use language that conveys empathy rather than blame. For example, phrases such as, “I’ve noticed a few things that concern me,” are a great way to share your observations without making accusations.

Assure your loved one that abuse is never their fault and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Doing so minimizes defensiveness and encourages them to share their perspective.

Acknowledge Their Feelings

It is never easy to talk about abuse. Your loved one might feel embarrassed, scared or uncertain about sharing their experiences. Validate any emotions they express and assure them their feelings are valid. More importantly, remind them that your primary concern is their well-being.

Encourage Independence

Even when their situation is distressing, empower your loved one by reminding them of their autonomy. Discuss their options with them, including exploring other living arrangements if they feel unsafe with their current placement.

Emphasize that their decisions will be respected and that your role is to support them through every step.

Offer Support

Reiterate your commitment to stand by their side, regardless of their decision. Let them know you are willing to assist in contacting authorities, seeking the help of a nursing home abuse attorney, or arranging meetings with the nursing home staff to address the abuse.

Your unwavering support can give them the courage to speak up and take action.

The Importance of Learning To Spot the Signs of Abuse

Before opening a dialogue with your loved one about possible nursing home abuse, it’s crucial that you learn how to spot its signs.

Unfortunately, abuse in assisted living facilities and skilled nursing facilities can take many forms. Some cases may be obvious and intentional, while others might involve neglect by facility staff over time. There are also various types of elder abuse – physical, emotional, financial, and even sexual.

Regardless of the type of abuse, there are several indications to watch for. One is an unexpected change in your loved one’s behavior. Depression, sluggishness or a loss of enthusiasm for things they enjoyed in the past may point to abuse.

It is also possible for signs of abuse to be more obvious, like scars, cuts, bruises and bed sores. If you notice anything suspicious about where these injuries are from, take action right away.

Staying attentive to the signs of abuse and taking immediate action are the best ways to protect your loved one from further harm. Older adults in nursing homes are often already frail and vulnerable, so failing to catch indications of abuse can allow injuries to worsen and even become life-threatening.

Take the Next Step with a Nursing Home Abuse Attorney

Opening the conversation about possible abuse can be challenging, and so is encouraging your loved one to tell the truth about their experiences. This daunting yet crucial task requires you to be empathetic, understanding and patient. Understand they may be embarrassed or afraid to speak up for fear of retribution.

If you discover or confirm abuse along the way, be prepared to take the next steps to safeguard your loved one’s rights and well-being immediately. You may need to make new living arrangements or reach out to Adult Protective Services for assistance.

But most importantly, make sure to seek professional advice from a nursing home abuse lawyer in San Diego as soon as possible. Legal specialists can help guide you regarding the next steps to take to hold the abusive staff or facility accountable. Let the experienced nursing home abuse lawyers at Holm Law Group fight for your loved one’s rights and the compensation they deserve. Contact us today to schedule your free and confidential case evaluation.